I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize