i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
