And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
