Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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