why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
