someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
