Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
