sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
