Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
