i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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