Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
