He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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