I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
