I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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