I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
