I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
