remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
