I cockslap morals
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
