I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
