please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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