that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize