Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
