And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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