fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
