Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
