Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
