I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my phone needs a breathalizer
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
