Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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