Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
