took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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