He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
