I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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