remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
