Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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