There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
