we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
