I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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