ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
