I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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