no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
