I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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