cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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