I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize