I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
jump out the window naked night went bad
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