yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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