What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
