ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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