butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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