Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
