Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize