No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
