How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
