I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
