By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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