So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
