If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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