im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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