How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
