is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
