I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
