I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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