We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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