never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
