So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
