I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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