The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize