I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
