you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize