I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
