She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize