sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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