Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
