Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
