went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
