I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
