State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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