i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
